Hum dono rishto se paar gumnami ban gaye the. Yaha Prem ka pura sagar hai, par koi boat nahi. Yaha sirf doobna hi satya hai.Theek hi kehte hai sadhak log- yeh aag ka dariya hai, aur isme doob ke jana hai.Sachme pyar ek aag ka dariya hai. Isme tairna (swimming) allowed nahi, sirf doobkar khudko mitaya jaa sakta hai. Aur wohi jivan ka satya hai. Aur ek insaan Budhdhu se Budhdha tab banta hai jab woh iss dariya mein doobke khudko mita de. Sab mitne ke baad jo bachta hai wohi paramatma hai.Meri maa ke andar ke unn paramatma ko main pura samarpit ho gaya tha. Woh Prem sabhd mein kaha nahi ja sakta. Bas usme gote lagaye ja sakta hai. Maine is baar maa ko bohut jor se, puri shakti lagake hug kiya. Unke andar se ek awaz nikla.Maa: Aaaahh!Aur sath mein unhone gehri saans nikala. Unki saanso ki garmahat jaisi hai meri masoom maa ki masoom niskalank pyar. Maine khade hokar unko apni godi mein utha liya.Maine unke gardan ke niche se lekar upar tak jiv yani tongue ko le gaya. Unke kaan ke niche. I cheated none. It was honest, if hard, labor and it had suited me perfectly for the fifteen years since then. My mother was less appalled now than she was then. I was still something of a black sheep in her eyes. Still a bit of a failure in my father’s. He and I had reconciled some years ago but he was still unhappy about my life. I was the only blue collar worker in three generations. My two sisters and two brothers, all younger than I, had gone into the business, even if only part time. Mostly, they didn’t understand either except Emily, younger than I by thirteen months. ‘I saw the pressure you were under,’ she told me once. ‘I just couldn’t imagine how you coped with it at all. You had to be so perfect.’ ‘Not sure how I survived either. I guess I really didn’t, did I?’ ‘Perhaps you did. I mean you didn’t go off and kill anyone, did you? It could have been worse and now you seem quite happy and you’re leading a decent life.’ That I was. ‘But you’re not married yet. Such a shame.’.
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